4.27.2011

i think it's time for an update


Just holding on and trusting God.

We've been on a roller coaster of emotions and a winding track of unknowns.

On Monday the doctors were concerned that this was not a miscarriage but an ectopic pregnancy.   There was no baby (and no gestational sac) found on the ultrasound in the ER but my hCG levels were high.  Which I guess in laymen's terms that means the baby didn't reach my uterus and is growing in my fallopian tube instead.  The blood test on Tuesday showed a rise in hCG levels as well.  We were told to go straight to the Emergency Room if I experienced more bleeding and cramping along with weakness and faintness.

I hadn't been experiencing much pain so the moment I started feeling all of these symptoms I grew concerned.  If it was ectopic, than the baby eventually bursts the tube and causes internal bleeding.  I was   scared.  So we went on in to the Emergency Room at 11:20 p.m.  And we waited for three hours.  After numerous tests and an ultrasound we felt like we were back at square one.  I had mentioned to my ultrasound tech that I would like to know if a molar pregnancy had been ruled out.  (thank God for the internet--my main source of information)

The results from the ultrasound showed masses of tissue that would be consistent with a molar pregnancy.  And it turns out that is what this has been diagnosed as this far.  In a molar pregnancy there are chromosomal abnormalities that occur at conception and it causes tissue to form that destroys the pregnancy but grows at a rapid rate and makes the pregnancy hormone levels rise alarmingly. Tomorrow I am scheduled for a D & C.  They have to remove all of the tissue from my uterus so that it doesn't continue to spread.  

This was probably wayyy too much information, but I wanted to post it just in case anyone else has had to go through multiple tests and misdiagnosis.  To finally be able to name what you are battling makes the fight seem easier somehow.

Thank you for all your prayers!!  God has knit them together to form a hammock for me to rest in.  There's peace just resting in the sureness of His love.

I heard a song the other day when I tuned in as I often do to the International House of Prayer's live web stream (Monday 9:52 a.m. Tim Reimherr in  archives).  They have prayer and worship twenty-four hours a day every single day.  Powerful, powerful stuff.  The stuff that miracles are made of and revivals are lit by.  Prayer and worship.  Unceasingly.  

God ministered to me so sweetly, reviving my soul like only He can.

And this is the song:

I'm holding on to your divine love
I'm holding on and I'm not letting go

It's not my zeal
It's that your love is strong
It's not my strength 
It's that you're faithful

I look into your eyes of mercy
And I remember that your heart is for me

I just want a heart that is fully in love


Yes, Jesus,
When everything seems so uncertain and there are questions that can't be answered, your eyes hold the one sure thing:  your heart is for me. 

Your heart is for me.


23 comments:

Olivia Grace said...

May peace rest in your heart and comfort in your soul. I am a new reader to your blog and have been so touched by the beauty of your family. My prayers are with you all at this time.

Linda said...

Joye the words to that song say it so well! I am sad for you tonight...and I will be praying.

May our Lord wrap you in His arms of love!

Linda

Stephanie said...

Oh Joye...my heart is breaking for you. I will be praying for you specifically tomorrow and praying for the peace that surpasses understanding to surround you and fill you with His comfort.

Emily said...

peace that passes all understanding. only from our dear Lord.

i am praying you and your dear family in this time sweet joye. may you feel Jesus wrapping his arms around you and know His deep, deep love!

~Emily

Stephanie said...

My heart hurts for you. I know this awful pain all to well and can only pray you will feel God's comforting arms wrapped around you.

katy said...

i'm praying <3

Mindy M. Harris said...

you are considerate to let us know what is going on. it just breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do, like bring you a meal.
but, really, prayers are the most powerful of things and i TRUST, along with you, that God's got your back in this, as he always has.
i am so sorry...the Lord's gentleness and wholeness sustain you.

September said...

You were on my heart and mind all day Joye.. I am sure it is hard to update with everything going on, but we that are praying appreciate it.
Keep resting in His protection, and know that He is God!
Love to you,
September

Kristin said...

My goodness, Joye. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will continue to pray for you. Love you :)

Abigail said...

Keep holding on. :) He is there!

Southern Gal said...

"God has knit them together to form a hammock for me to rest in." These words brought tears to my eyes. To have prayer warriors shoot up prayers on behalf of those in need and have God knit them together...sweet picture, Joye. Praying your procedure goes well.

Lindy said...

Prayers for you!

Wife to the Rockstar said...

I am so very sorry Joye. May His love hold you.

Carmen @ Life with Sprinkles on Top said...

I'm sorry to hear this, Joye. I pray for you to have peace and comfort.

Lauren said...

Oh Joye... I just got caught up. Somehow I missed your last post. I am so so sorry. I am praying for you and crying for you. Peace, comfort, mercy... all these thing I pray for you today and in the coming days and weeks and months. I loved your last post. I don't like the word miscarriage either. No mistake was made. God loves this little baby and formed him/her with a purpose. When we get to heaven it will be such a celebration to finally hold our babies that we didn't get to meet here. I love you and will be lifting you up!!

Jacquie said...

Joye, I am so grateful for IHOP's webstream - it has been a great comfort and encouragement to me soooo many times! I have it on for hours and hours in our home every day - I'm so glad He is speaking to you and bringing healing to your heart through worship. I pray He continues to give you grace and strength as you walk out this difficult time.

Bethany said...

Joye, my sister had a molar pregnancy three years ago. You will definitely be in my prayers. And if you need someone to talk to about molar pregnancy, I'd be happy to get you in touch with her. I am praying the d & c goes well and for your health (emotionally, physically, and spiritually.)

Amanda said...

So sorry for what your going through. :( Praying for you. Thank you for sharing the ihop website. I'd never heard of it before. It's something I'm going to have on a lot now.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Oh Joye....you have been on my mind, in my heart, and in my prayers. I am so sorry you are walking this path...and so grateful for the peace and grace surrounding you. Please know we continue to lift you in prayer.

Much love, my sweet friend...

Rachel~Wildflower Photography and a little bit vintage said...

Sweet Joye, continuing to pray for you and your family during this time. Thanks for the update, I was wondering how you were doing.

Hugs,
Rachel

BARBIE said...

Oh Joye, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I am praying for you. So thankful you are finding comfort in worship.

Little Momma said...

not sure how i stumbled upon your page, but your words have been a blessing to me today. my God continue to comfort you through this season. He is so good...always.

Katiekathrynann said...

I feel a lot of sadness for you and your family having to experience this. I also feel a lot of hope for you because you are willing to share this with us- people you don't necessarily know well, or even at all. Sharing is such a door opener for letting go of pain and helping others who have similar problems. You are awesome!! I am praying for you!

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