4.20.2011

i dislike the word miscarriage


I dislike the word miscarriage.... it sounds like a mistake, a misfortune, an accident of nature.

And I don't believe it is.

So much care, so much attention to detail, so much love goes into everything God makes.

And He doesn't give up on anything He's created.

He makes no mistakes.

Our baby was created for an eternal home.

God gave us a name the week before our baby passed into His arms.

Nation.

What a name.  What a promise.

We don't consider that we have lost our baby, only gained another one in heaven.


We're walking through this right now and taking one day at a time.  I'm just waiting on my body to complete the process of a 'spontaneous miscarriage' as the medical professionals so term it.  And I think the waiting is one of the hardest parts.  

Monday morning, I walked into the Emergency Room knowing something was terribly wrong.  Joel was a few steps behind me having just dropped me off and then parked the truck.  They admitted me into one of their cold impersonal rooms and when I turned around I saw Joel enter with a slip of paper in his hands.  

He told me a man he didn't recognize had walked up to him as he stepped through the doors and handed him this paper then turned around and left.

He unfolded it, read it, and then passed it to me.

There were only these words, but they were like a balm to my soul:
"Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock."
Deuteronomy 28:4: a promise I often cling to; my lifeline now.

48 comments:

PaisleyJade said...

All my love - and I totally agree with you re the word miscarriage. As you know I've walked this journey too, so you are in my prayers. xoxo

Danielle said...

Oh how my heart aches for you right now. I have lost 4 babies this way, but I am blessed to know that they are in Heaven waiting for me and have never known the pain of this world. Oh what sweet and beautiful lullabies our Lord must be singing to our children right now. You are in my prayers:)

jacksta said...

(((hugs))) I too have had one. Hearts and prayer goes out for you and your family
What an amazing Angel story. WOW!

ricebabies said...

So sorry, I lost my very first baby. So my sweet angel will meet us all one day when we get there. Hugs and kisses.

weza said...

I'm so sorry Joye. Such a sad time for you all. I too have been on that journey, so pleased that God gave you a promise just when you needed it.

Leslie @ top of the page said...

the Lord bless you and keep you, friend. what grace He has to give you a promise right before a pain. He already had his arms around you.

April said...

I've never been pregnant nor had a miscarriage, but I hope to handle whatever God hands me with an ounce of the grace and wisdom you do! Nation... what a beautiful name.

Hugs <3

Sammy said...

So sorry Joye xoxoxoxo
When I miscarried early in my pregnancy the clinic told me it was a chemical pregnancy, not a real one. Hmmm, not. My baby, my eldest is waiting in heaven, And I know that I know he is a boy.
I love the name Nation, and who knows what God has planned for him? What his life has meant?
God doesn't make mistakes and Nation is a created being. One of His own. I pray that the next days and weeks are filled with His peace for you and your hubbie xx

Linda said...

Sending Love your way Joye! Praying for you and your husband. Asking for peace and comfort from above.

What you wrote is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your faith like this.

Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Southern Gal said...

Hugs and much love to you, Joye. What a wonderful name given to you.
Bless that angel who handed your husband that promise from God.

Alaythea said...

My heart goes out to you....praying for you and your family, that God would wrap you in His arms as you heal from this. And I do love the name Nation! Absolutely beautiful!

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry Joye...prayers are with you and your beautiful precious Nation. {hugs}

Heather said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little one. I'll be praying for you all. Very amazing how God used that person and gave you that verse to cling to.

Olivia Grace said...

Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your beautiful family. The Lord is with you and will carry you through. Be strong, Joye!!

Dixie Mom said...

I'm so sorry.
I agree with you whole-heartedly.
I vote to abolish that word.

Rose D., NJ said...

Oh Joye, please know that you do not take this journey alone. I too have walked this road...Just know that we walk beside you, hand in hand and will include you, your baby Nation and your entire beautiful family in our daily prayers. The Good Lord is watching over our babies until we meet again. Blessings to you...~rose

Kristin said...

Oh, Joye, I am so, so sorry. I have been praying for you. I love the name Nation. Praying for you and your sweet family.

annie said...

your words are so full of grace ~ my prayers are with you and your sweet family as you walk this road.

Cynthia said...

Oh, Joye, you and your family are in my prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss. That sweet baby is certainly in Heaven, waiting for you...and watching over you. Such a beautiful heart you have.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I totally understand as I lost a baby last July. I can't even say the word miscarriage out loud anymore, it sounds so dirty to me. The only consolation is knowing that that bay (and yours) is in Heaven and one day we'll be able to meet. Thinking about you and your family.

Theresa Miller said...

Joye, I am lifting you up in prayer right now. I am so sorry. What an amazing name. You write with such grace. Amazing grace. {Hugs}

Yellowbird said...

http://lifewiththelittlebird.blogspot.com/2009/12/he-chose-to.html

Read it, I hope it helps. Changed my life forever...

katie said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I've been there twice and the sadness is real and raw. You are right, it is another baby that God calls home. You will meet Nation again.
Katie

Jayme said...

I'm so sorry for your loss...and so thankful that you have a God how heals and loves!

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for you!

Heather @ Life Made Lovely said...

the Lord is shining His face upon you right now friend. your family will be reunited, but until then my Samuel will watch over Nation for you while Jesus watches over them both. xoxo

kentuckymommy said...

Joye and family,
I am so sorry to hear of this...you are in our prayers. With love, The Cangelosi's

Coby said...

I'm so, so sorry, sweet Joye. I am lifting you and your family up in my prayers tonight.

I love the name Nation.

Yes - God makes no mistakes.

Mindy Harris said...

Sweet Joye. Praying God wraps you in his arms as you trust and lean and cry and work through all this.
Love from afar, my friend. I'm so sorry.

BeLoVed AiMeE said...

:(
I'm so sorry for your loss. You speak such beauty and truth through it. God is good. All the time. <3

Erin said...

:( So sorry. I lost my first two pregnancies this way, and it is a heart-wrenching experience. I felt so guilty until a friend helped change my perspective.

Instead of obsessing over how my body had "failed" me, she told me to focus on how my womb was God's chosen vehicle to usher those souls to Glory. They will never know pain and suffering here on earth...it just means I have to wait longer than I wanted to be able to hold them in my arms :)

Mikalah said...

I am praying for you and your family today. How amazing that a complete stranger was used by God to comfort you at such a difficult time! God's promises are true and they are worth clinging to. Much love,

~Mikalah

Jacquie said...

I just experienced my first miscarriage last month and the pain of it still lingers. But I love what you said, "Our baby was created for an eternal home". It is comforting that God knew all along and He didn't make a mistake and that my baby had a purpose and a destiny for heaven. What a beautiful scripture that God gave you too - thank you for sharing.

Rachel~Wildflower Photography and a little bit vintage said...

Oh sweet Joye, my heart aches for you. Having been through it twice before...I know the pain you are experiencing...you are not alone. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know our Father is wrapping his loving arms around you and holding you close. I can't wait to meet my babies someday! I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you!

Michelle ~ said...

Joye & family, I am so sorry. Praying for all of you. YOU are exactly right about words and God never ever makes a mistake. What a beautiful name "Nation" is ... praying for God's love and His comfort.
from a far ...

Widge said...

Love to you and your beautiful family during this time Joye.
What an amazing encounter being given that scripture.
xo

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Joye,

I am so sorry. What a beautiful verse handed to you as you are walking through this deep valley. Please know that you are in our prayers...our hearts break with you.

Would you mind emailing me your address? I have some things I would like to send to you in memory of your sweet babies.

sufficientgraceministries at gmail dot com


Love and Prayers,
Kelly

Ashlee said...

Nation, what an awesome name. It's amazing how that man had the courage to do what God told him by handing a complete stranger—your husband—a piece of scripture. Something so powerful and exact can only come from the hands of God. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family during this time.

Normally I don't "promote" my own blog when leaving comments on others, but my latest entry just happened to be about a couple dear to my family who endured a similar circumstance. If you so choose, feel free to read about them here: http://freetobeashlee.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-spite-of-it-all-hallelujah.html

God bless,
Ashlee

kelli said...

I love the way God works. The note when you needed it, how amazing. I'm so sorry though. Hope this difficult time brings you closer to God and your family.

Mich said...

prayers...

Hope you have a beautiful Easter.

BARBIE said...

Joye, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you. Praying for you!

katy said...

it'll be okay.

God loves you and will hold you, as i'm sure man others will.

i love you lots and will be praying for you.

Kate said...

My heart breaks for you right now Joye, but I am rejoicing that Jesus is holding your baby, Nation, in heaven right now. Prayers for you and your family!

Sarah Ann said...

Oh, Joye.
I just started bawling when I read this! What a special way for God to speak his comfort to you! I recently had a miscarriage, and I know it's incredibly painful, but you are right. God is completely in control and we can cling to him.
You are wonderful, my friend.

the lowes said...

My heart is hurting for you. I hate the word too. it implies we did something wrong. but GOD IS GOOD. I went through this about 7 months ago and know the pain and the fear. praying for you tonight that He will show you His goodness and be close.

Holly said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, Nation. Sending love, hugs, and prayers.

Wife to the Rockstar said...

Tears. You know I just went through one in December. It was so sad and so hard. Praying for you in the days ahead.

Roxanna said...

Sorry for your loss... I love the name Nation! I went through the same thing back in 2009 with my first child... Found out that he was a boy and named him as well. Waiting for another little one if God allows! Sending prayers of Comfort your way!

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