2.25.2010

first love, first glance


There's a song that keeps playing over and over in my head lately.  The words are so beautiful and every time I hear it, love for my Saviour overwhelms me (you can listen to it at the bottom of this post).  I'm left with a longing--a longing for that first love.  That fervent, burning love that sees only Jesus, hears only Jesus, wants only Jesus.   I didn't know just how distracted and busy my life had become until Jesus started leading me to that verse in Revelations where He is confronting a church in Ephesus  (and where He is lovingly confronting me):
"I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love."   Revelations 2: 2-4
Just look at that list of commendable things they had done!  All of them were praiseworthy.  And I look at the different "things" I do for Jesus, all in His name, and I realize that many of them have become habit.  Like a marriage that has grown too comfortable and lacks pizazz, that's what my love for my Savior has been lately.  He's overwhelmed me with His love (here, here, here, and here). He's held nothing back.  And He longs for me to do the same.  To hunger and thirst for Him.  To desire Him more than anyone or anything else.  He desires me.  ALL of me.

I was moved to tears when I read this beautiful post.  Sami shared this same scripture that God has been leading me to.  And my heart just resounded with renewed longing, with sorrow for moments I had missed with Him, but with excitement for what tomorrow will bring.  She posted a letter from God to herself and encouraged others to do the same and to link up with her.   I was so excited to get alone with Him and hear what He would say to me.  I remembered this blog that was created to share some of my conversations with God and I realized (with chagrin) that I haven't added anything to it in almost eight months.  I asked Him to speak to me, to write me a letter.  And He was so faithful.  I have to admit, I expected a well deserved note of correction, but this is what I felt Him tell me,
My Joye,
I've missed you.  I love you.  I yearn for you.  Your love is like the sweetest of perfume.  I've missed sharing secrets with you, talking long into the night, laughing, crying, and listening to the beat of each other's heart.  You are my first love and I long to be yours.  Please know that I'm not angry with you-- I'm jealous for you.  Just spend time with me and I'll fill your heart with greater joy than when grain and new wine abound.   
I treasure your love.
I am yours,
Jesus
How can I not respond to a love like that?

My Jesus,  
You have given me such grace!  And I want to know you more.  I want to hear the secrets of your heart, the depths of your love, the recklessness of your mercy.  And I want it to resound in my own heart.  
I want to love you more.  To sit with you and lose myself in the fire that burns in your eyes.  You deserve all of me.  You deserve so much more than I could ever give, and all you ask is to be my first love!  So come and fill me, Jesus, with the passion of Heaven.
Love,
Your Joye 

18 comments:

PaisleyJade said...

Beautiful - it's so true that as much as we love Him and long for Him, He longs for and loves us.

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rebekah said...

He is doing the same in my heart-showing me Mary Magdelines heart and how she poured out everything to Jesus because she had so much more in him, everything else paled in insignificance. I believe he is loving on his bride, calling her once again, and like in Song of solomon:

Song of Solomon 5:3

3 I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?

We have in a way, taken off our robes. We have forgotten our first love, other things have stood in the way of just running to the door to meet Jesus, dressed or not!!

Be blessed in your times of intimacy with him. x

Dani Joy said...

OH that we will always remember our First Love!!!

Jesus comes to us. How wonderful that He does miss our time with Him. It is then that he reaches out to us. WE must remember.

Praising the Lord for you my dear sister.

Dani Joy

lovingmylife said...

Beautiful.

Sailor and Co said...

I really want to team up with you on this adventure. When I get back from Ecuador we need to talk :)

Lauren said...

simply lovely....

Lisa P said...

Your post makes me think of the story of Martha and Mary. Luke 10:41-42, "But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but ONE THING is NECESSARY. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

Let's go after that ONE THING with total abandon!

Allie said...

Praise the Lord! That is beautiful. The Lord is calling His children back to a more intimate place with Him. Our relationship with Jesus is a beautiful marriage. As humans don't we want passionate lovers as our mate or do we want lukewarm lovers? Jesus wants the same from us, passionate lovers of Him. You encouraged my spirit with this post.

Heather said...

Joye, this is absolutely beautiful! I love that you wrote Him a letter back! Thank you for sharing!
~Heather

Mich said...

This was so beautiful...

Tracy said...

Thank you for sharing that. Our first love, yes. He calls us to be the first love. This is so inspiring. It is a blessing to hear.

Amy said...

Joye,

I think He must want me to meditate on that verse as well - not ten minutes after reading your post I found myself at this link: http://www.catalystspace.com/content/read/public_passion_vs_private_devotion/

Amy said...

Oops, maybe I messed up the link:
http://www.catalystspace.com/content/read/public_passion_vs_private_devotion/

Emily Jean said...

What a precious post. Thank you for sharing your heart!

Joe and Melissa said...

mmm good stuff!
thank you for your comment on my blog! I really like yours - you inspire me to be more creative : )

Joyeful said...

Wow, Amy! That was an amazing link! I LOVED reading it! Thanks for sharing it with me!

Amy said...

Hi Joye! I am so blessed by your post.... so beautiful is the heart of the Father... so beautiful is the heart of Jesus towards you and towards me.

After reading that verse in Revelations, I reminded of the verse another verse in Matthew when Jesus said, "Many will say to Me in that day,
‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’
And then I will declare to them,
‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

I had always been so scared of that verse, until just a couple months ago, Abba brought me back to it again. I looked up that word "knew" and it is the same "know" as is used in reference to a husband and wife and their intimate relationship.

I was floored! It's so right up the same alley as the verse in revelation to Ephesus... these people were "doing" all these things in the name of Jesus, but He says to them, "You missed the whole point... you never knew me.. we never had intimate relationship with each other."

Beautiful letter... beautiful song... thankyou for sharing this. :)

Amy

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