1.02.2010

God and I. dreaming.



 I confess.
I am a dreamer.

When I was 11, my dream was to become a singer.  I prayed and begged and prayed that God would give me an amazing voice overnight.  I would wake up and rush down to the piano, expecting concertos to roll off my fingertips and for a voice like molten gold to slip effortlessly from my lips.  In high school I tried out for the select choir.  I didn't make it and I was crushed.

My senior year of high school I aspired to become an actress.  I won an acting scholarship and I thought my dream may just come true.  After numerous interviews with the head of the department, I realized I would be required to compromise my morals if I was to be part of their program.  I walked away saddened but more resolute than ever in my convictions.

There is one dream I've always cherished, though, and lately God has been asking me to entrust it to Him (see this post).  I wish I could say I handed it over cheerfully.  The truth is that it has looked more like a tug-of-war than surrender.  I want to rush ahead and make things happen but at the same time I know only God can accomplish this dream.  It's hard.  This waiting on God to act, this need to be content even with dreams unfulfilled.

And at the back of my mind there is a fear.  
What if this dream is only my own and not God's at all?   It would be like dancing the waltz without the lead partner, like attempting to soar without wings.  No, I don't want to dream without him.  For at the end of my self-constructed rainbow there would be only fool's gold.

With fear clinging like saran wrap to my guarded box of dreams, I finally realize what God has been so patiently waiting for me to understand-- the only way to see them grow is to release them.  To let the winds of the Spirit sweep them into the hands that first brought them to me--to my Author of dreams, the Creator of dreamers.

I peel back the layers I've preserved my dreams in and as they soar towards heaven, words of love flutter down on my upturned face.

God doesn't want me to stop dreaming.  Only to dream bigger.  I hear His gentle whisper,
"Let's dream.  Together.  You and I.  We'll dream of unimaginable things.  And we'll be the dream.  I in you and you in me."




**I'm linking up with (in)courage today where we are sharing our God-sized dreams.

17 comments:

Pat & Ron Harris said...

This post hit very close to home with me. There was something in my heart that I wanted very badly. I asked the Lord and He gave me a promise it would happen. I didn't realize then that it would be in His time and that for the desire of my heart to happen, I would go through many trials and tribulations first. I also had to let it go and let Him deal with it. But the day He fulfilled His promise to me is a day I will never forget. My heart still sings when I think of it and the pain and troubles fade into nothing. It was all worth it and more. Now when I look back I can see the Lord working all the time. I was just so impatient. God is good. He's so good to all of us. Blessings, Pat

3 Blessings said...

This is so beautiful. I admire your heart for not compromising your morals for the acting. God will lead you to His plans for you and I know that He is using you daily. I have received many blessings from your past post...all through God's word.
Blessings,
Amy

Cha Cha said...

The Holy Spirit in you has stirred the Holy Spirit in me, He has been calling me to submit somethings to him lately, and I have been running the other direction and clinging to selfishness. Thank you for sharing and confirming where God is leading me. GOD BLESS

Jenilee said...

what a precious post. I love the thought of God and I dreaming together. I've been studying the heart and I so want my heart to beat like His so I dream the things He dreams for me. Not just dream but even step out and do them. loved your post!

He & Me + 3 said...

This post is awesome. I want my dreams to be His dreams too. I need to set a few more goals and to reach outside of my box. To always move forward with my visions.

Wylie said...

What I love that God has done with my dreams is make dreams come true that I never knew I was dreaming! I thought I was dreaming this & that or needing this & that - but He knew what was best for me & made those dreams come true. I also love that He has shown me that His plans are SO much bigger than mine. I can't dream or pray big enough for my God b/c His plans & His will for my life always abundantly exceed my own.
Wylie

Kristin said...

I was trying to click on your link that says "see this post" but the link was for this post. Anyhow, I can relate with the singing dream. There is nothing I love more than music and singing. I am so passionate about it, but also realistic enough to know it's just not going to happen. Still, I will keep worshipping and praising Him, even if He's the only one who ever hears me :) Just keep dreaming Joye! You are so inspiring and so real and I know He has huge plans for you!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Well, I'm all about some dreams, girl, and when I went to click on the link to "read" about yours, it just sends me back to this one. Am I doing something wrong? Or am I reading things wrong?

I, too, harbor some dreams of my on. Too much to go into here with a comment, but I've been dreaming one for a while now.

May God grant you wisdom and joy, Joye, as you navigate those dreams in 2010. I am confident of this--he only has his best in mind for you and desires to plant kingdom seed because of you as we go.

peace~elaine

Michela said...

Wow, those words really rang true for me! I've had to give up some dreams to God's hand recently as well. But it's amazing, even though it was painful, it was a sense of relief as well! They are definitely in better hands.

I am looking forward to getting to know you better as well! Yay for blog-world! =)

Joye @ The Joyeful Journey said...

Oops, sorry Kristin and Elaine! I put the wrong linky there!

dawn said...

thanks for stopping by my blog, Joye! I am glad you God are dreaming together. Blessings!

Mich said...

beautiful post, sweet friend.

when you mix you dreams with faith, anything can happen

Kristin said...

Thank you for sharing your heart...and thank you for stopping and leaving a sweet note on my blog.

Jaimie said...

I really loved this post and could so relate. This post summed up my entire 2010. I thought God had forgotten about me, and all my dreams, and fell into a deep depression for about 6 months. Then I was invited to go to a church conference (Catalyst), where Erwin McManus spoke on dreaming God's dreams, and how much he has planned for us. I cried like a baby and gave my dreams back to God. Within about a month, my entire life changed and suddenly things began to fall into place. I "thought" I had given him my dreams before, but I was still holding tightly to them. But when I fully released them and let HIM be my desire (more than my dreams), He began to give me new dreams to dream (His dreams). I pray the same for you, sweet Joye!!

*dls* said...

thank you for the sweet comment on my blog. I love the words, crafts, and photos from your blog. =)

Wife to the Rockstar said...

I used to be a dreamer. Something happened in the last few years. It makes me sad to think about how I have stopped dreaming.

Thanks for reminding me that God wants me to.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Love this...dreaming with you, dear friend.

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