There is a beautiful ministry to grieving mothers. One where we can walk together, hold each other up, and rejoice over the gift of our children, however short their lives may have been. Today at Walking With You we are sharing the story behind our heavenly children's names. Names have always been important to me. Maybe because they have always been important to God. I love reading about the names God gives many of his servants in the Bible and the deep meaning behind them. There is so much in a name.
I remember early in my second pregnancy, I felt drawn to one particular name. I didn't even know the gender of my baby yet, but the name Titus just seemed to fit. Joel loved the name, too, and it was then I sensed we would be having a boy. The fifth month came and a regular doctor's visit revealed that Titus' heart had stopped beating. Everything after that happened in a dark, intense fog of grief. You can read more about it here. There was a ray of light, though, and it was in my son's name. While in the hospital a new name kept coming to me. I felt that God wanted me to name my son Zaccheus Titus. I would find out later how important that name would be to me in the days ahead.
When I came home from the hospital, I looked up the meaning of Zaccheus Titus. In Hebrew Zaccheus litterally means "the Lord recalled". Titus is a title of honor. It was when I read these meanings that my heart felt hope. My little Zaccheus Titus had been named by his Lord. His life mattered, had purpose, and was received with joy by his Creator and Father.
The second meaning of the name Zaccheus spoke to me the most. Zaccheus commonly means "pure, clean, bright, and just". God was healing my memories. For when I held my son in the hospital, he was not clean or bright. His heart had stopped beating several weeks before and his tiny body was discolored and gray. My heart was broken when I saw my son for the first time. But my God has bathed my little boy in the light of His love. His cold little body is now glowing with the warmth of the arms that cradle him forever. One day I will see him as he was created to be, as his name describes, pure, clean, bright, and honorable.
Thank you, God, for loving and naming your children.
"But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine."Isaiah 43: 1